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Words….

Words can bring a revolution,they say. Words can change people. Words can inspire, they can conspire. Words can create new dreams,they can bring dreams to reality.

Words, the mightiest sword that a human can device, they say.

Yes, they say….

What’s the worth of a word that’s spoken from the deepest corner of one’s heart?what’s the worth of a word that someone says to save his life? What’s the worth of a word that people say just for the sake of saying?

The most important question,though, what’s the difference between either of these words???

Some say words are just words, said because no one can keep silence. But my friend words are deeper than any silence can think of being.

Some say words are the expressions of one’s feelings, emotions. For whom?, i ask….does the world really cares about your words, my friend…

The harsh truth you accept once you face it is that words are just words, for everyone who’s around you. Words mean something and everything, just for the person who composes the verse.

Trust me my friend “Words have no Worth”.

And if you think i am an insensitive little wart that does not care for emotions or feelings, and thus can never understand the worth of human interchange of expressions, you are deeply mistaken mate. I have nothing in me that can express my inner soul, but these words i write. I worship every word that leaves my mouth. and that is the very reason i feel sorry for the neglect of every word that i say in the eyes of those for whom i say…..

Some call me an enigma. Others rate me as a normal individual,a person with desires to achieve his goals. A person aspiring to be successful. Some even call me a philosopher. People and their interpretations….. you can’t stop them from judgment, can you?

If you ask me,though, what I am? I will come up with a blank reply,a confused expression on my face.No insight into what i really am. I am a stranger, for myself and for this world that exists outside.

I have had many faces that i have hidden,at times and flaunted at others. You may call me a case of split personality, the only difference being that there are so many personalities within me, that i loose track of the real me. I am a pessimist and the greatest optimist, both at the same time. I am a warrior and a coward, all at the same time. I am a philosopher and a weakened soul, again at the same time.

The person whom this world meets each morning, is the me whom i allow to be witnessed by the external world. the person whom my people see is the one who’s different from the first me. The person whom i see in my solitude and maybe someone else does, is the real me. I have learned to play this game of multi faced masquerade that i wear to fight my own fears. At the same time to preserve the inner me from the loss of his dream of divine happiness, that he still believes exists.

I don’t feel any joy in shading the parts of me into black and white and a multitude of different shades. I feel sorry for the soul that’s broken into pieces and sewed again each night in solitude. But i have never chosen my destiny myself. It has been my destiny that has always chosen its victim. I live with no regrets, but a hope, an undying fire within my heart that i will come through to that world that i have imagined and dreamed of each night. The world that’s mine. Where only the real me will exist, and accompanying me will be those who have seen this real me……i will survive….

CONFISCATED INNOCENT

Ask me not,

oh heavens!!!

why i sigh…

judge me not,

on that single sight…

an evil night,

it flipped my life…

A spectator was i,

most unfortunate

knows the sky….

those eyes did meet

for the last time it gleamed…

darkness did fall,

the dagger did rise

in a single blow

it stabbed two souls/lives

the demon had risen,

one last time

overpowered, the heart

had no choice

imprisoned am i

yet its guilt

which i can’t survive

this cruel world

believe me,

made me to react

i have nothing left,

but to sigh

a confiscated innocent

am I

The vacant stares of the innocent eyes, that gaze through the emptiness into the present, yet they live in the past. Innocent are the thoughts of the beautiful mind that wanders across borders not meant for it. What care can drag the wanderer to its coveted resting place.No dream, they say, is too big. But, an insomniac hasn’t the luxury to dream.

I feel empty at times, to look out and try to hold onto something, someone to care for you. The absence of that someone special creates agony. The fact that you live alone. you live for yourself.You live to survive. It sets the thoughts in a maze of whirlpool,where the end never seems to come.

Don’t think of me as a pessimist. I don’t complain, to no one. I live , i enjoy , i laugh, but yes i cry. I cry for things that i can’t control. i cry for what i can be, but am not. I cry for the handicapped desires of this soul. And i cry because i have been caged in a prison that no one made in particular. It was established much before i had any idea it was there. The prison i cannot break.

Life never seizes to amaze me. Its a puzzle, accepted. But the parts of this jigsaw don’t fall in place at times. The theories that humans have made never have bounded life. But then what exactly is the power that supports these unknown theories that push life. I don’t challenge life. But in other ways i do. I challenge those actions which i can change. I challenge those decisions which are made without my approval, and yet they involve me, they guide my course of life.

I have been a passenger in this journey that continues to new realms. I don’t want to be a passenger. I wish to be the rider . And i work to be the creator of my destiny. But, i feel weak at times. The resolve, the purpose, the desire to achieve what i set out to achieve, the driving force, the flame weakens at times. And it is then that i feel the pang of loneliness. It is then that i realize that i have no arm to hold onto, no one to hug, though the voices that surround me are many.

I lost a friend……Don’t feel so sober,ain’t dead……But yes,i have lost my friend.

It’s been some time now,and i dun wanna cry over it again.But, i still can’t stop myself.Its strange,you know,in life we meet so many people.Some are true,some are good friends to talk to,some can share your joy,others your fears,but so few of them hurt so much when they leave you.

In fact, to be very true,i dun know why I’m writing this.maybe because, i feel it can reduce the pain.I’m not sure, it’ll  help.But still i can try…..

It was slow.And i knew it was coming.Maybe the mistake was mine.But i had no other choice.I dun know how much it has hurt my friend,but it has changed me completely.I have witnessed the me,whom i never knew existed.It’s weak within,but i know would not break.

I promised silence would be my companion until my last ride.Sounds too cinematic???may be ,it can for u…not for me…I can’t take away that pain that’s within the two of us…But i can at least try to avoid any further  sorrow.But that demands courage.I have to be mum.i will be….

This world is not the place to be in, if u want to keep everyone happy.You have people around you whom u love and can simply can’t see them cry.And when life compels u to make choices between those whom u love,it’s the worst feeling.The decisions one makes,not only affects him but a lot of dear ones around.Its a difficult choice to cut one’s hand or leg.

The only reason i can survive this guilt is that it had a purpose.I did my best to be the only sufferer.But time has its own game.I still love my part of the culprit….The mirror reflects my eyes,that are still empty….I’m still silent…and i pray,i be silent….

I have never apologized,but deep down in my heart,each night i cry….U can call me names,but dun call me a butcher…that’ll kill me alive….as if i am alive….dun call me a devil,life makes people look like one….call me anything that gives u peace,that’ll make me alive…..

I miss my friend….I miss the person i was before all this….This ain’t my story…it ain’t a fiction either….It’s sorrow,the symphony of a soul……

Ashk

(A Pearl,A Drop Of Treasure)

THE GIRL WHO WAS LONELY

On a long lonely road,
She says,
She walks….
All alone,so shy,
the truth never is denied,
When spoken through the eyes…

She hasn’t learned to cry,
though she tries to hide,
the shine in her eyes,
never dies…
And yet the mirror asks,
where does the
devil reside….

She can walk into your heart,
with just a glance..
would heal a wound,
with that smile…
would never listen though,
if you break the mirage…

She’s a Princess,
her garden blossoms,
those young buds,
every time a flower falls
kissed be Juliet’s lips
Blessed they feel,
Another Romeo dies….

She’s the smell
of a sweet bower,
She’s a colour
that the rainbow can’t describe,
you can’t live without her,
nor I…
Yet she’s neither your’s
nor mine….

Still lonely is the path
she walks,
Every flower she flows over
has a beating heart,
Waiting for that final touch
that final Goodbye…..

-ASHK

A BRIEF REPORT ON HUMAN JOURNEY

Let the skies decide your fate,
oh devil;
who kills me
the thunderstikes,the firestorms;
the elements that make up thou earth
would justify
when asked;oh thee…..

Who’s cries are these??Should we say Humanity,or trust,or human emoptions,or are these thge woeful songs of the Mother nature????

The plague has sunken deeper than our imagination can glide our thoughts to.This is the agony of every foundation stone and of every principle that governs the very existence of human race on this lanet.

Exaggeration, as it might seem,but ther pretence can’t last long.For years now,we have lived with this masquerade of innocence,on our faces.And now the demons,whom we have nurtured for years,have started to haunt us.

We might have tamed every law that governs physics,and every theory that runs our lives.But in this race to defeat such forces,we forget to tame ourselves.,Pursuit for excellence in any field one decides to work in has nothing wrong with it.In fact,this hunger to uinravel the unknown,is the force that drove us towards cephalisation,which ultimately led to civilisation.The center of the problem doesn’t lie in our hunger to achieve wonderful results.But rather in the path,that we tread to reach the destination of our desires.

We read,and write,and talk,and forget.This has been our theory wh\en it comes to bringing a change.I don’t talk much about nature,nor humanity,because much has been done to assign back the state of orderliness.But it is the human emotions,which remain unattended to.Every one of us, whether we accept or not,we feel the pain of a lost emotion,be it trust,faith,fear,joy or the most envious of all:love.

How often does it happen,that you talk to someone and yet you feel you have not.You loose a dream and yet you don’t cry.You lie so often and yet you never fear. How often do you walk ut into people’s company and yet you feel as lonely as the night would,without moon.You laugh at someone’s joke,and join the amusing crowd,and yet not feel the joy.The implications of a lost emotion are far more simpler than we think,but have trained ourselves to deny the obvious,because we love our masquerade.

Our biologists call us a social,i.e.,we live in groups with co-operation.But we are movin towards gregarious habit,where we live in groups, but but don’t have faith on anyone.Can we trust anyone completely today???Our family seems to be the only safe haven for our emotions…

We place ourselves at the heighest level of heirarchy,and take pride in calling ourselves “social Animals”.Although, it rests completely on one’s deeds,which decide,which word out of the two,to emphasis more on,ewhen referring to him.we are superior from our lesser intelligent companions on this planet because we have emotions.Loosing the sense of emotions is making us loose ouyr conscience.The human race is crying for us to get back to the grounds where we started our journey from.The realms of live,trust and faith is where we belong.It’s time to move out of the masquerade and script a new sunrise.Noone can decide what we do,but ourselves.Forit’s easy to tame a barbarian,but if the need arises to tame an untamed civilised,it would mean lowering the worth of the Human Race……

MUCH ADO ABOUT????

Even before the Olympic torch was lighted,the fire of protests against the ongoing Tibetan crisis was burning bright.People holding banners against the Government,Women standing firm,ready to face the onslaught of the raging army and police officials,who are doing everything in their ‘might’ to curb the agitation.These are the pictures that would greet the world to the Beijing Olympics 2008.

What was supposed to be the biggest event for China,is turning out to be an agnail for the authorities.And it’s no secret that the going hasn’t been very smooth from the onset of events.The awarding of the Olympic games to China raised quite a few eyebrows.Ironically,though,the people most concerned were the environmentalists,who feared that the polluted city of Beijing would play havoc with the participating athletes.And soon we had reports and quotes coming from every corner of the world from people, whom we never knew were environmentalists or even existed.

So does this place me in the group of very few people who support the policies of the government concerned here.The answer is a plain “no”.Rather what amazers me is the way International Olympic Federation was handling the issue, or should i say,it was not handling the issue.The only thing it did was to buy time and hope that the matter would be buried in the fanfare once the games started.

But the IOF ran out of luck at the crucial time.With the eruption of violence in Lhasa and the inability of the authorities to handle the situation amicably,the Olympic games seem to have run into troubled waters once again.And it’s no surprise that the IOF has kept mum and is still insisting that the games would be organized ‘peacefully’(God knows what that word means for the IOF,’coz the present scenario is certainly defying all claims) and that it would be a success.

So, has the success of hundreds of year old tradition gained more significance than the attainment of basic human rights and the practice of humanity.In this rat race to became a major economic power and to be a political force to be reckoned,at the international level,nations forget the very essence and reason of human existence.Even in this 21st century, we have not learned to respect the right of people’s freedom.

Olympic games send a message of peace and harmony among the people of 5 inhabited continents.But then what is the use of preaching a message that one cannot follow himself.This personification of hypocrisy is doing no good to the image of the host nation.The Olympic torch that burns bright to spread this very message of peace and harmony has to be extinguished(for the first time in the history of torch relay)to save it from protesting groups.Have we reached a point, where human conflicts and ego have overshadowed the might of this eternal light.

Doesn’t yhis send a clear signal to the hypocrites and people alike,that the air today,not only in Beijing,but around the globe has thickened with polluted thoughts.And that ,to such an extent, that the warmth of eternal fire has diminished top the glickering of a weakened flame…..

FRIDAY NIGHT BALL

its raining love,
i can feel u close…
deep in hy heart
ur shadows play…

our first night ball,
and we had a dance…
can still feel ur body,
in my arms…

we waltzed for hours
as people watched…
the symphony of the night,
reaching every soul and heart…

i still remember,
how u forced me
to dance in the rain
with those pearls falling
on ur angel face…

the night remains the same,
even the heavens rain…
oh honey!!!i’m alone,
be by my side again…

 ALL THAT I SARCH IS ME

All that i search is me,
chained or an angel free
trying to sort out,
what life has made of me…

I fall shoprt of words,
with expressions untold,
when i search my soul…

As i look down the road,
i see people whom i think
i should have told
things that were true,
ands not a mere show
of betraying galore…

But my lips were sealed
by the wax of time
 principles too divine
which i now regret
were mine…

I’m still jeopardised
an untamed heart,
the culprit…
and all that’s left with me
are mournful sighs
for the treasure that could have been mine…

But i closed the door,
when the emotions were
ready to flow
may be to curb the tid,
that couldn’t have reached the shore…

And i drank the sweetest of wines,
tossed through those sleepless nights,
and they never ciezed to realise
what i did was truely divine…

Yet clueless am i,
neither my wisdom survives
this test of mine, oh thee!!!
all that i search is me!!!