I lost a friend……Don’t feel so sober,ain’t dead……But yes,i have lost my friend.
It’s been some time now,and i dun wanna cry over it again.But, i still can’t stop myself.Its strange,you know,in life we meet so many people.Some are true,some are good friends to talk to,some can share your joy,others your fears,but so few of them hurt so much when they leave you.
In fact, to be very true,i dun know why I’m writing this.maybe because, i feel it can reduce the pain.I’m not sure, it’ll help.But still i can try…..
It was slow.And i knew it was coming.Maybe the mistake was mine.But i had no other choice.I dun know how much it has hurt my friend,but it has changed me completely.I have witnessed the me,whom i never knew existed.It’s weak within,but i know would not break.
I promised silence would be my companion until my last ride.Sounds too cinematic???may be ,it can for u…not for me…I can’t take away that pain that’s within the two of us…But i can at least try to avoid any further sorrow.But that demands courage.I have to be mum.i will be….
This world is not the place to be in, if u want to keep everyone happy.You have people around you whom u love and can simply can’t see them cry.And when life compels u to make choices between those whom u love,it’s the worst feeling.The decisions one makes,not only affects him but a lot of dear ones around.Its a difficult choice to cut one’s hand or leg.
The only reason i can survive this guilt is that it had a purpose.I did my best to be the only sufferer.But time has its own game.I still love my part of the culprit….The mirror reflects my eyes,that are still empty….I’m still silent…and i pray,i be silent….
I have never apologized,but deep down in my heart,each night i cry….U can call me names,but dun call me a butcher…that’ll kill me alive….as if i am alive….dun call me a devil,life makes people look like one….call me anything that gives u peace,that’ll make me alive…..
I miss my friend….I miss the person i was before all this….This ain’t my story…it ain’t a fiction either….It’s sorrow,the symphony of a soul……
Ashk
(A Pearl,A Drop Of Treasure)
